Saturday, January 15, 2005

Judgment

Sorry, Didn’t Recognize You [Matthew 7:22-23; other topics - Omniscience]

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack; while on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asks, “Is this it? Am I dead?” God answers, "No, you’ve another 30 to 40 years to live.”

The lady recovers quite we’ll and decides to stay in the hospital for a facelift, some tummy-tucking, a hair-root dye, and some well place lipo-suction. She figures since she’s got a lot more life to live she might as well make the most of it.

Leaving the hospital after recuperating, she is hit by an ambulance. She arrives at the Great White Throne Judgment in heaven and asks, “What happened? I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?” But God replies, "Sorry - I simply didn’t recognize you.”

There’s going to be no problem being identified at the Sheep-Goat judgment. Even those who come in the Name of the Lord, protesting their faith, but uncovered by the Blood of the Lamb, will be found out! And Jesus will say to these: "I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS."

[Adapted from JokesEveryDay; 8/31/99]

1 comment:

Biggz said...

Haha... hilarious! Sure, go ahead and link me. Yeah, I try to keep the posts clean, but sometimes something slips, and I don't even realize it till someone points it out to me. I actually wasn't even sure which post you were referring to, so I'm going to go back and check all of them. God bless you brother.

 
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