"The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."John Wesley Powell is a name not well recognized today … he was the one-armed, Civil War hero-explorer of an American national treasure, The Grand Canyon and it's great Colorado River.Genesis 2:22-24
Something not well known by many people is a place Powell named “Separation Rapid.” This is where three men separated from the main party and attempted to walk out of the canyon by themselves.
What precipitated this separation? A major dilemma! The Powell party had earlier lost one of its four boats and over half their food to the river. The rapids they now faced were more menacing than anything they had previously encountered.
Normally they “portaged” (i.e., carried) their huge wooden boats around such difficulty, but here it was impossible. Two choices were available to the explorers: 1.) abandon the exploration and walk out, into uncharted and hostile territory; 2.) face their fears and plunge headlong into the rapids, trusting themselves to make it.
Three chose the former, while the seven remaining men chose the latter. To everyone’s surprise the rapids only had the appearance of omnipotence; within minutes they cleared “Separation Rapid,” unscathed and with all their provisions. The three separators were never heard from again.
Many times marriage presents seemingly impenetrable obstacles which in fact have only “the appearance of omnipotence.”
In many cases it is true that the couple cannot “portage” their marriage around the obstacle. However, facing their fears and forging ahead, trusting in the grace of God [Matthew 19:26; 2 Corinthians 12:9], may bring a Grand Canyon-like surprise. Taking the “separation” route in marriage is fraught with danger, many have taken it to their great detriment.
When couples come seeking my counsel I remind them a marriage is similar to a front lawn, right out there in the public’s eye: if it’s nurtured and maintained it will serve them all the days of their lives, even though some must periodically be cut nearly to the roots; if ignored, abused, or trampled on it will die.
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2008
MARRIAGE: Separation is not the answer!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
CONFLICT: Defined As "To Strike Together"; Pro or Con
IT'S IN THERE SOMEWHERE: [Ephesians 4:1-3]
During the football season, we are witnesses to a wonderful illustration of conflict resolution. The ball carrier (ball firmly tucked under his bent elbow, fingers firmly over the end of the pigskin) is hit violently; the ball spurts from his grasp and bounds randomly first here and then there.
Three seconds elapse and the ball will have traveled no more than thirty yards, but not necessarily in your preferred direction.
Three more seconds slip away and the ball is smothered under a dozen testosterone factories, housed in two to three tons of male flesh, but not necessarily in the possession of your man.
One by one the component parts of the pile are pealed off, top to bottom. Finally, the pile is whittled down to a few hot, struggling bodies until the player with legal possession of the ball is identified. By this time another six seconds has gone by and in professional sports, time is valuable.
A similar thing happens in conflict resolution. By the time referees get to the scene of a conflict the combatants are struggling fiercely and its cause is buried beneath a heap of time, circumstances, contributing factors, participants, situational milieus, and temperaments. Before the cause can be identified, each component of the pile must be pealed off from top to bottom, one by one. By now, a lot of time has passed and in the game of life, time is precious.
Communicating the need for patience to the combatants by a referee is essential to the process and its success.
During the football season, we are witnesses to a wonderful illustration of conflict resolution. The ball carrier (ball firmly tucked under his bent elbow, fingers firmly over the end of the pigskin) is hit violently; the ball spurts from his grasp and bounds randomly first here and then there.
Three seconds elapse and the ball will have traveled no more than thirty yards, but not necessarily in your preferred direction.
Three more seconds slip away and the ball is smothered under a dozen testosterone factories, housed in two to three tons of male flesh, but not necessarily in the possession of your man.
One by one the component parts of the pile are pealed off, top to bottom. Finally, the pile is whittled down to a few hot, struggling bodies until the player with legal possession of the ball is identified. By this time another six seconds has gone by and in professional sports, time is valuable.
A similar thing happens in conflict resolution. By the time referees get to the scene of a conflict the combatants are struggling fiercely and its cause is buried beneath a heap of time, circumstances, contributing factors, participants, situational milieus, and temperaments. Before the cause can be identified, each component of the pile must be pealed off from top to bottom, one by one. By now, a lot of time has passed and in the game of life, time is precious.
Communicating the need for patience to the combatants by a referee is essential to the process and its success.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Shepherding
Whichever Way the Wind Blows! [Matthew 28:19, 20; other topics - Evangelism]
Blowing the church parking lot on work day is not one of my pastoral duties, I consider myself a member just like everyone else. I do it as a part of my service to the church body. Besides, it’s good exercise and keeps me in shape … well sort of!
When I begin in the early morning there is seldom a breeze, but by mid-morning the breezes ripple in and out, com-ing and going from all four corners of the property. Years of weekly practice have taught me to make the wind work for me.
If I fight the wind it’s a mess but as long as I use it to help me everything works out fine and at the end of the day the leaves are in the dumpster and I’m victorious. Let me give a couple of examples of how my philosophy of parking lot blowing helps in other areas as well.
The first example is jujitsu … students of this martial art learn early that they can’t win if they try to fight their opponent … mano y mano. They learn to use their opponent’s movements and weight to their advantage; with hard work and application they’ll win quite often.
The second is sailing … if a sailor tries to fight the winds he will get nowhere and end up a loser, the wind always wins those battles. But if the sailor learns to harness the wind’s power and use it, he’ll master it.
Now pasturing is a lot like blowing leaves, jujitsu, and sailing … if you fight the sheep they’re just contrary enough to defeat you. But if you learn to work with them and harness their energy and use it to accomplish your objectives every one comes out a winner.
However, just like a few leaves on the parking lot, there are always a few who won’t cooperate, no matter how skilled you are at facilitating their movements.
Just like stubborn leaves which are more trouble than they’re worth, errant sheep need to be ignored, don’t waste God’s precious time trying to get them to graze like you want them to. Given enough time, errant sheep will end up in some storm drain; given enough rope, they’ll hang themselves. Either way they’re not worth the effort.
After you’ve led your sheep to where they can do themselves and no one else any harm, “Go,” my child, and find the lost sheep of the Kingdom ... the ones who want answers and deliverance.
Blowing the church parking lot on work day is not one of my pastoral duties, I consider myself a member just like everyone else. I do it as a part of my service to the church body. Besides, it’s good exercise and keeps me in shape … well sort of!
When I begin in the early morning there is seldom a breeze, but by mid-morning the breezes ripple in and out, com-ing and going from all four corners of the property. Years of weekly practice have taught me to make the wind work for me.
If I fight the wind it’s a mess but as long as I use it to help me everything works out fine and at the end of the day the leaves are in the dumpster and I’m victorious. Let me give a couple of examples of how my philosophy of parking lot blowing helps in other areas as well.
The first example is jujitsu … students of this martial art learn early that they can’t win if they try to fight their opponent … mano y mano. They learn to use their opponent’s movements and weight to their advantage; with hard work and application they’ll win quite often.
The second is sailing … if a sailor tries to fight the winds he will get nowhere and end up a loser, the wind always wins those battles. But if the sailor learns to harness the wind’s power and use it, he’ll master it.
Now pasturing is a lot like blowing leaves, jujitsu, and sailing … if you fight the sheep they’re just contrary enough to defeat you. But if you learn to work with them and harness their energy and use it to accomplish your objectives every one comes out a winner.
However, just like a few leaves on the parking lot, there are always a few who won’t cooperate, no matter how skilled you are at facilitating their movements.
Just like stubborn leaves which are more trouble than they’re worth, errant sheep need to be ignored, don’t waste God’s precious time trying to get them to graze like you want them to. Given enough time, errant sheep will end up in some storm drain; given enough rope, they’ll hang themselves. Either way they’re not worth the effort.
After you’ve led your sheep to where they can do themselves and no one else any harm, “Go,” my child, and find the lost sheep of the Kingdom ... the ones who want answers and deliverance.
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