WITNESS: Our clandestine public relations campaign!

I stopped into one of our landmark “greasy spoons” the other day. Many senior church members have sworn by the personnel and the menu. I decided to give it a chance.

Nothing on the menu caught my eye, so I ordered that old standard chili, topped with onions and grated cheese. I canceled the cheese after learning it cost an extra 50 cents (that’s over $30/lb. if you’re interested).

However, the waitress forgot to tell the cook “no cheese,” so it arrived with onions and cheese. When told, the cook (visibly irritated by this infraction of the rules) grabbed the bowl and angrily scrapped the cheese off.

Unfortunately for me, he also scrapped off a ½ inch of my chili and the nice pile of finely chopped fresh onion. When I eventually got my bowl of cold, canned, microwave chili it was sprinkled with large and “potent” chunks of onion.

Now, as I tried to smother the quickly coagulating lump with a ½ pound or so of stale soda crackers, I was distracted by loud coughing. It only took a second to realize it was the cook. With uncovered and open mouth, he wandered about the kitchen hacking his nicotine clogged lungs onto everything not covered or in a cabinet.

Trying to be fair I thought to myself, “It’s okay, after all I’ve probably consumed worse raising six kids.” But then the cook applied the coup de grâce by inserting his index finger to his second knuckle in the nostril of his choice.

I don’t think I’ll tell anyone at the church I ate at the Village Inn, I’m afraid they’ll ask me how I liked it.

Many believers are allowing their churches to become the “greasy spoons” of the spiritual community.

Only the Mormons seem to avoiding this public relations disaster. Worse, many members of these churches, as well as members of some of our finer churches seem to be unaware that they are being watched.

Christianity, Illustrations,
Religion, Witness

MISSIONS: The reality of God's will!

Years ago a young man and his bride wanted to make a difference for God in this world; they applied and were accepted as missionaries to Africa.

Following their arrival in New York to prepare for oversees service, mission officials determined the rigors of Africa would put the wife at risk. The agency revoked their deputation.

The couple returned home, brokenhearted, wondering how to rebuild their shattered dream. They decided to make money – lots of money – to support missions. They figured they could make it possible to send others to share the gospel of Christ even though they could not go themselves.

The young man's father had been making unfermented wine for their church’s communion services. His son soon became involved with him. Their name was Welch. They manufacture Welch’s grape juice to this day. The company has given millions to spread the gospel through missions. Did they rebuild their dream?

Despite our human frailty - God wants to use us in a positive way in negative world. Remember who we are; we are a people of God’s own choosing, a royal priesthood, a holy nation.

It only takes a grain of salt in a substance to know it’s there. Even though you may feel small, weak or insignificant - you're not! We are “the salt of the earth, the light of the world.”

Christianity, Illustrations,
Missions, Religion

RELATIONSHIP (with God): - Reality is one thing; spirituality is another!

NO VIRTUAL REALITY! [1 Timothy 2:5, 6]

Most people have heard these popular sayings, “You had to be there … “ or “It made more sense in person … .” The essence of these sayings is that some things must be experienced in order to understand them.

So too man’s relationship with his Creator.

Christ is the only surrogate ... the only mediator. No man can intercede for another; no creature can adequately convey the personality of the infinite Creator to the finite. One must be there himself … in person. Your parents, your church, your wife, your clean living … nothing will do it for you … you have to be there in person!

IMPRESSION - At least make an impression!

TOO MANY WATERBED SAINTS! [Ephesians 1:18-21]

Ever notice the difference between a water bed and a pillow top bed? On the former, no matter how much it’s slept on no impression is left; on the latter, the more its slept on, the greater the impression.

People’s lives are like that. Some lives are lived and leave no impression; like a finger pulled from a glass of water, when the finger leaves the water closes in behind and no one would know the finger had ever been there.

Other lives are lived and the impression left behind requires decades, even centuries, to erase. A very few are never erased because of the depth of their impression on this world (Socrates; Plato; Michelangelo, Da Vinci; Mother Theresa, Stalin, Hitler, Pasteur, Edison, Noble, Carver, Gandhi, Confucius, to name a few).

Only one man has left an eternal impression, our Lord. When all is over and the ash is blown away, only one name will be above all names, the name of the man Jesus Christ.

TEMPTATION - The Devil made me do it!

FAMILY PRAYER CLOSET [1 John 2:15; Television]

A pastor was preaching an impassioned sermon on the evils of television. He said, “It steals away precious time which would be better spent on other things." He advised the congregation to do what he had done. "I put that confounded box of ours in the closet.” He roared with great satisfaction.

To which his wife was heard to mumbled, "And it's really crowded watching movies in there!"

[ Adapted from CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, November 1, 2001]

HOLD THE SAUCE [Various Scripture; other topics - Sin (Cost of); Righteousness; Pornography; Testimony; Voyeurism; Walk; Witness]

In Chicago, Illinois, health officials are investigating the explosion of two bottles of Col. Johnson’s Thermo-Nuclear barbecue sauce.

According to a report from United Press International, the explosions occurred in people’s kitchens. No one was hurt, but the spicy, hot sauce caused hundreds of dollars in damage to curtains, carpeting and furnishings.

Man continues to play around with dangerous items on a daily basis, not knowing for sure where the next explosion will come from or when it will happen.

Surveys tell us that huge segments of society are involved in Internet pornography; other data reveals the numbers are so large it must cross over the threshold and into the very sanctuaries of the household of God. It is statistically unreasonable to expect otherwise.

The Bible tells us our sins will find us out. The Bible tells us we will pay the price for our iniquities, both in this life and the next. We are to keep ourselves unstained from this world [James 1:27] but it appears that much of the church has been sleeping in a garbage truck.

[Adapted from David Miller, American Family Radio, News Network 1999]